Making the decision to end a relationship is not easy. Even if you are completely sure of your decision, the actual process of breaking up with another person is challenging. In fact, sitting down with someone and telling them that you want to stop seeing them is every bit as difficult as getting dumped yourself. Understandably, you want to make the experience as pain-free as possible for your partner. Although there is no completely painless way to break up with someone, there are ways that you can do it that will minimize the impact on their emotions.
When you first start thinking about breaking up with another person, it may seem like an impossible situation. Trying to figure out how and when to end your relationship or what to say can be a bit overwhelming. One good way to come up with a plan is by thinking about how you would feel if you were in your partner’s shoes. What would you want them to say to you if they were breaking up with you? Chances are, you would want them to be completely honest with you and to give it to you straight in a way that was caring and compassionate. As you read through the tips in the following section, try to keep that in the back of your mind.
Always Break Up In Person
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is trying to break up with someone through a text message or by email. You should respect your partner enough to break up with them in person. Although it is challenging to sit face-to-face with someone when you are ending your relationship, it is the respectful and responsible thing to do. Don’t take the easy way out and try to hide behind your phone or computer. Instead, treat your partner with the respect that they deserve by breaking up with them in person. Chances are, it will help both of you heal more quickly.
Decide Where To Break Up With Them
After you decide that you want to end your relationship, you need to think about where you want the breakup to occur. If you are like most people, the first place that comes to mind is probably somewhere private like a house or apartment. In fact, however, it is usually better to break up with someone in a more public location. Typically, emotions run high during a breakup. If you are in public, things are less likely to escalate and get out of hand. When you are in the public eye, both you and your partner are less likely to erupt. Keep in mind, however, that not all situations are a good fit for a public breakup. For instance, if you are planning on getting a divorce, you should probably have a conversation about it in private since there are so many details to iron out. You will need to choose the best option for your situation.
Have A Plan In Place
Plan out what you are going to say ahead of time. That doesn’t mean that you have to write a cheesy speech that you say word for word. However, you should spend some time thinking about why you want to end your relationship. That way, you can do a better job of explaining your decision to your partner. Don’t play the blame game. Instead, talk about your feelings and your needs, taking responsibility for your own role in the relationship. It is only natural for your partner to want to defend themselves or to feel like they are being attacked. That is why it is important to avoid having it come across like you are blaming them. The more responsibility you can take for your relationship not working out, the less likely you are to experience major conflict.
Be Honest With Them
As with all things in life, honesty is the best policy when it comes to breaking up. One of the most common situations is that the person being dumped will ask if there is ever a possibility of getting back together again. If you are completely certain that your relationship is over, don’t lead them on by making them think that a future reunion is possible. Instead, give it to them straight, letting them know that there is no possibility of rekindling your relationship in the future.
Have Solid Boundaries In Place
Breaking up with someone doesn’t mean that you stop caring about them. Chances are, you may even be worried about them, wondering if they are doing okay. Don’t give into the temptation to check in on them. Even though it may seem like the nice thing to do, it can actually wind up backfiring on you. Typically, people need time alone after a breakup to deal with their emotions. If you and your ex have decided to stay friends, your new relationship should have clear boundaries so that you don’t wind up falling into your old habits again. If you have made a clean split, on the other hand, you should do your best to avoid any contact with your ex.
Many relationships simply don’t work out. Although the process of breaking up with someone can be challenging, there are ways that you can soften the blow. By using these tips, you should be able to bring your relationship to a close without any major arguments and without hurting the other person any more than necessary.