It can be an emotionally devastating experience when a relationship with a long-term partner comes to an end. A relationship can end for a variety of reasons. It may be because of work commitments, plans to travel or live abroad, or maybe it’s just reached its natural end. Whatever the reason for the split, the period following this is extremely important. This time should be utilised for self-reflection and self-improvement. It’s an opportunity to take stock of our life and to reassess exactly what we want out of it. And ultimately this period of reflection should act as a catalyst for long-lasting positive change.
So, before you even start to consider how to win him back, you should first ask yourself why the relationship ended in the first place. Such questions aren’t always easy to answer, so give yourself plenty of space and time to work things out.
Make a ‘No Contact Rule’ and Stick to It
The mistake that many people make after breaking up is that they bombard their ex with texts and phone calls and leave constant posts on social networking sites. In both the short and the long-term this doesn’t do either of you any good. Sometimes the best thing you can give your partner and yourself is time. So, despite any advice from well-meaning friends, it’s essential that you resist the urge to contact him.
Enjoy Some Much-Deserved ‘Me-Time’
When in a relationship it can become all too easy to lose yourself a little. You become so used to sharing yourself and your time with someone else that suddenly doing things alone can feel a bit odd. Remember, a relationship shouldn’t be about ‘two halves making a whole’. Both of you had been people in your own rights before you met. So, go out and do the things you used to enjoy before you both met, and maybe haven’t been making enough time for. Once you start feeling more like ‘you’ again and realise you can still have fun as a singleton, the break-up will seem a lot easier.
The key thing after a breakup is to ‘get back out there’ as quickly as possible. We don’t mean that you should start dating someone else. What we do mean is that there’s a big old world out there, so why not use the breakup as an opportunity to explore some of it? Go travelling, enrol on a college course, or take up salsa dancing. Doing something different or learning something new is a way of moving forward and focusing on the future instead of the past.
By seeing a break-up as the beginning of something new rather than an ending, we empower ourselves to be strong in the face of emotional difficulties. Some relationships are meant to last, and some aren’t. The only way of knowing which category your relationship falls into is by being brave enough to ask that question. And with a little distance and the gift of hindsight, you might just find that ‘Mr. Right’ wasn’t so right after all.