If you and your partner have been experiencing relationship problems recently and you both seriously feel that you’re now ready to call time on your marriage, ensuring you separate in the most dignified and simple way possible should be a top priority. However, we all know that this isn’t easy when there are emotions involved and the whole process can turn very nasty, very quickly.
With that in mind, I thought perhaps it might be useful for me to share my experiences somewhat and give you some useful information to ponder upon. Though you may feel angry at the moment, it really is in everyone’s best interests for you both to stay calm and deal with the situation like adults. So, take a quick read through the rest of this post and try to adopt my advice as best you can.
Think About Your Children
Family law is often a very messy area, so whatever you can do to ensure your children don’t suffer as a result of the situation you find yourselves in is essential. I happen to believe that my divorce went well because my own parents split when I was only 4 years old, so I really do understand what it’s like from a child’s perspective.
Unless you’re in a violent relationship with someone who is a danger to your children, I’d advise you wait until they’re old enough to understand what’s really going on. I still get dreadfully upset when I think back to the moment my mother told me she was leaving our family home, because as a child of 4 I just couldn’t fully understand what was happening, and this affects me to this very day.
Tell The Truth
The worst thing you can possibly do in a divorce situation is lie. Other than tarnishing your character, lying will only infuriate the other party involved and make them much more likely to look for a fight. It will also almost certainly make your divorce proceedings last for a longer time period, which again will have a negative impact on your children.
Choose A Respected Solicitor
If you go to see a solicitor and that say something like “we’ll take him for all he’s got”, then walk straight back out the door and find someone else. Some solicitors thrive on getting the absolute best result for their client, and although this would usually be a positive thing, it’s important that any hired representatives are sensitive to elements that may cause distress to your ex-partner and your children.
You’ve probably got friends and family who’ve dealt with divorces in the past, right? Well then it might be worth asking them how smoothly the whole process panned out, and if you encounter someone who had a reasonably amicable split, ask for their solicitors contact details.
So there you have it guys. Just remember that the best way to avoid a tough, messy divorce is to have a little more faith in your partner and give things another go. I realise this isn’t always possible, but make sure you avoid fighting like cats and dogs if you really have no other option, as your children will remember it for the rest of their lives, and it could seriously affect the way they see the world.
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